BORED

Not much has been going on lately. I've been working, trying to sleep, eating. The usual. I have been so bored lately. I have no hobbies. I have great ideas in my head, but I do nothing about it. There are so many things I want to do, but I have no energy. I guess being a single mom will do that. I wish I could spend more of my time alone doing something productive. Cleaning is the last thing I want to do. I want to DO something. I want to go out and DO something. I don't want to go to a bar (those days are OVER), I don't want to go to a movie....they cost WAY too much. My friends all stay at home with their husbands/boyfriends and kids. Me? BORED! Awww...po po me. Anyway, enough of my whining. I don't really have anything else to say. If anyone has any suggestions on something that I can do that costs NOTHING, it would be great. Thanks!

More Time to Bitch

Dear Stupid Boyfriend,
I don't know why you insist on bothering me every second. I have never met anyone who can talk so much about nothing. I try to listen, but after a while you get pretty boring. After all this time together, I still don't understand why you ask my opinion on EVERYTHING. Even though 90% of the time I don't answer you, I can still hear you. Being a mom, you learn to hear everything. I just don't want to have to hear you. If I wanted more kids, I would have stayed with my ex-husband!

Why do you always wake up mad? Are you upset b/c you woke up today? or do you think I'll feel sorry for you that you have to go to work? I hate hearing you cuss every morning. Just once, please keep your mouth shut!

A queen size bed is meant for 2 people to fit comfortably. It is not meant for you to crawl up into the fetal position in the middle of the bed and expect ME to be comfortable. Sometimes I don't want to touch you. I just want my half of the bed.

Now I know why your mom calls all the time. You know that she will do anything to make you happy. Sorry hon, I'm not your mom. I can't always tend to your every need. I am me. This is how it works. I have compromised plenty...........just give me my half of the bed without bitching. Not everyone is against you......quit taking everything so personal.

Well, enough for now. Don't want to get too riled up before bed!

Mom and me

This has been a decent weekend so far. The weather isn't TOO hot and everyone seems to be in a good mood. Of course, that always helps me. I still new to this blogging thing, but I'm doing my best. I have always loved to write, but lately my thoughts are so jumbled, it's really hard to put everything into words. I can think of a thousand things in my mind, but I couldn't explain it to you! I don't know how many people have even read my blog....who knows, it might just be me. But it does feel good to know that maybe someone, somewhere is relating to me...even if it is just a little bit. I have read many others blogs and so far I have noticed that ALOT of people are getting paid to do this. Jeez, I would love it if someone wanted to pay me to write about my day to day life. I would really let you all in on some REALLY good stuff!!!! But for now, until I feel completely comfortable, I will keep most things private. I don't want to give out too much info about myself. My MOM could be reading this!!! LOL, my mom is my best friend. She knows so much about me it's scary. I do wish sometimes though she would be more like a mom than a friend. I go to her with just about everything, from relationships, to work, to being a mom. I don't always want the advice she tries to hand out. I feel like she wants me to be like her, but what she needs to understand that I am my own person. She raised me to be independent, which I am thankful for. I know what responsibilites are.....even though I was spoiled. I knew what I could and couldn't do. And also what my consequences were. She always told me that I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up. Well, the only problem is, I still haven't figured that out. And that sucks! I'm not very good at making simple decisions. I worry myself to death about everything. I always think of others when I decide something. I wonder how my family would feel instead of what I would feel. I'm not selfish in any way. I really never have been. I have noticed lately that I am more like my mom than I thought. We are always changing our minds on what we want. We like our freedom, but want someone there. We HATE to be told what to do.....by anyone! If we could work for ourselves, we would. But then I'm sure once we did, we would want to move on to something else!

Well, Mom, if you end up reading this, I just want you to know that I love you very much. I know at times we argue and fight about things, but it's because I love you. We don't always have the same views and of course that's OK. Please just remember that you raised me the best you knew how. I promise to do the same for my daughter. I will always give her hugs and tell her I love her......just like you did to me. I will always be here for you, no matter what. Thanks for everything.

Time to Bitch

You know, all day today I have been getting very aggravated at stupid people, one in particular. Here is what has gotten to me......

1. My boyfriend comes home and asks me if I want to get dinner. Sure! Why not? But then he has NO IDEA WHAT HE WANTS TO EAT. So, the conversation goes back and forth until we end up arguing....3HOURS LATER!!!!! I swear, men can be so stupid!!!! DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT DINNER IF YOU HAVE NO SUGGESTIONS!
2. My boyfriend (again) sees that I am busy, but continues to talk to me like nothing else matters. I have asked him several times to wait for a few minutes, but that's not good enough. He wants my attention NOW!!! Tough shit.....wait.
3. My boyfriend (see a trend?) he needs to go to the doctor, but doesn't have a PCP. Not my problem, right? WRONG (according to him). This is how he feels........If I don't call and get him an appointment, he won't go. If he doesn't go, he will continue to have the problems he has had for years. But all I have to do is get him the appointment, remind him when it is, make sure he has all the info, practically DRIVE him there, fill out the papers for him, walk him back into the room, tell the doctor whats going on and HOPE the doctor says what HE already thinks it is. Thats all I have to do, no big deal.
4. I go to the gas station to put air in my tire. It currently has a BIG nail in it acting as a plug. Anyway, my tire is getting low,so instead of asking my boyfriend, I go to do it myself. No problem, right? I've done this before so I already know that we now have to PAY FOR AIR. So, I get my change ready, drive up the street, get out, put my money in, the machine turns on. So far, so good. I take the cap off of my tire, and put the thingy on there, and push the button. Nothing. I hear the air, I know its there...I PAID FOR IT. So why is my tire still low? Hmmmm...since you are on limited time, I try to figure out the problem. OK, try and push the thingy in harder and hold on to it. There, this should work. NOPE!!!! WHERE IS THIS AIR GOING? I PAID MY MONEY FOR THIS AIR AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!! Damn karma.....should have changed the tire 5 months ago when i got the nail. My boyfriend took my car up there later and didn't have a problem....whatever.
5.I was watching one of my favorite movies last week. I hadn't seen it in so long I decided to go to WalMart and buy it. So, anyway, I was really excited and ready to settle down for a nice quiet evening watching my fav movie. My boyfriend was fully aware of this and told him to be quiet. Aout 9:15pm the movie goes in and I'm ready! The phone rings. I pause and answer it. His mother. OK, push play....here we go. 9:45pm, phone rings again. His mother. *sigh* What could she possibly want? Anyway, I continue the movie. 10 minutes later, she calls again. OK, i'm pissed now. I walk out of the bedroom and ask him 'Why is she calling so much???? What could she possibly need to tell you right now?' Before he could answer, I'm back in my bed pushing the play button. There was about 25 minutes left when he walks into the bedroom. 'What are you doing?' What the hell does it look like???????? Does he not understand what BE QUIET means????? Obviously not. So, my movie night pretty much sucked. I didn't get my good 'girl cries' out b/c I was constantly being interrupted. Can a man not understand that a good cry is neccessary for a woman's mental health?
6. Same night............no i don't want to have sex. I'm not in the mood. How can I be? You (and your mother) annoyed the hell out of me. I know we don't have sex like we used to. But you aren't as nice as you used to be! If you would have let me watch my movie in peace, I might be in the mood. Too late now, sorry. Maybe next movie night.

Sleepless night?

Oh, here we go again. Another night not doing anything. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. All I want is a restful nights sleep. Is that too much to ask?? I have tried everything. Last night as I was putting my baby to bed, I was extremely tired. But of course, just like every single mom, I needed time to myself. So, I got on the computer and pretty much did nothing. I watched TV and then at about 1am I figured I better get to bed. After about an hour of lying there, I got back up and watched more TV. I was watching the stupidest show EVER...'Date my Mom' on MTV. How many more stupid reality shows can they come up with? Maybe I'm just too old....hahahahaha. Don't get me wrong. I love most reality shows. But who really signs up for shows like that? I know for a fact that MY mom would NEVER go out on a date with some guy for me. If a guy met my mom before me, I'd be screwed. Anyway, after watching 3 episodes of this stupid show, I tried to go back to bed. It was about 5am at this point. Around 6am I think I finally fell asleep and then here comes my baby......6:25am. 'Mommy, Mommy, lets get up!" Oh dear god help me. How am I going to go to work for 8 hours with no sleep. So, I called in.....again. I figured, whats one more day without pay?! Tonight, I am determined to sleep....and go to work tomorrow. Oh, how tempting to call in again. It would be nice to have another day off. Maybe I could actually get some cleaning done. LOL...how many times have I said that? I know exactly what would happen. I would take my baby to school, come back home, go to bed and not get up until around noon or so. Then sit around and watch more stupid shows thinking I should have went to work. By that time, schools out and time to get my baby. I would get nothing done. So, what to do, what to do........stay tuned.